They say you should leave the past behind , but can you really do that in certain situations?
Well let’s consider the next scenario (quite popular one) : parents divorce , child stays with the mother , the father for unknown reasons ( unknown for me at-least) decides to stop all forms of communication with the child. (long story short)
In my family this happened years ago (12 years ago to be precise) , so by now it doesn’t bother me at all (just to be clear) . I don’t get angry or sad when I get reminded of it by people , by places , by situations etc. But you do have some unanswered questions , some doubts , which will stay with you for quite a while . Why do I say this ? Why am I so sure that those questions will still remain after years and years? Hmm , funny story .. My mom went through the exact same situation (my grandparents divorced as-well ; divorces run in the family apparently haha) . The difference is that she was a few years younger then me at the time of her parents divorce . What I’m trying to say is that even after all those years , even after having her own family , after having her own child , she still wonders about some things and it has been more then 35 years since that separation.
We don’t really talk about this and it’s not because we choose to avoid the subject , there is just nothing to talk about , but we both know : this will stay with us for the rest of our lives (just think about your wedding day and various other situations like graduation , holidays , birthdays , big family gatherings) .
Often you’re being told “Oh just move one!” , “Get over it already!” etc. But the truth is that you don’t forget the fact that your father chose not to be a part of your life .
It’s okay though . People learn to adapt , people accept that life changes every day , every week , every month , year by year and you have to live with it , YOU have to change with it.
My point is that yes , you can move on after someone broke your heart , you can move on after friends betrayed you or whatever bad thing that you want to move on from .. However , a father is a father , there is no way on Earth you can find a replacement , There is no moving on from that , you can’t leave that behind . It follows you .